16 August 2005


I came home from a writing session in the Tinderbox cafe in the Angel, in time to make supper - mackerel pasta - and my boy came running to greet me. "Dad, Dad! You're back!" It's not always been so. There was a seemingly endless period when my presence little registered, beyond being the hairy one who changed his nappy and bought him his chocolate juice at the park cafe. But happy to say that phase is over, and I'm trebly in Spike's good books because I took him to Hamleys yesterday and bought him a Salty - a model of the buck-toothed engine, friend of Thomas. His choice.

Today two years ago, I lost my Dad. He slipped away from a sunlit room in a hospice in Liverpool, windows wide open. It was during that dreadful heatwave, the trains were in chaos, it took me five hours longer than it should have to get there. But I made it in time to say goodbye, hold his hand.

I'm a Dad, my brother's a Dad, some of my best friends are Dads.
But Dad's gone.


Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Oh man, fuck this insensitive fucking comment spam, it gives me the shits...

Hugs to you sbs, know well what it's like to lose a parent. I do believe that love will always stay with you.

be kind to yourself

(have had to do anonymous comment just because you seem to be infested with spammers just now)

sbs said...

thanks O.G.
you're kind and right, as ever. x

shame about the spammers on Blogger, isn't it. i suppose it's just a little part of the price we pay for living in an advanced capitalist society. it appears i was on NEXT BLOG last night, that's when the trouble started.

(nb, people, i've left the least offensive one up, for context. there
were five more i deleted. if you *do* own a Rainbow vacuum cleaner, please contact the company and tell them to stop spamming blogs. thank you.)

Ova Girl said...

ooh...but how did you delete them? what magic is this that I in Blogging Dark Ages am yet to discover?

Also...have discovered that pm's blog is now an archive and that it is no longer open for comments. Paul, if you happen to read this...thankyou for writing a great blog and for leaving so much of it for people to read. Yours was one of the first blogs I ever read and it inspired me to start my own.

(sorry sbs, hope that's not too much of a hijack)

sbs said...

First, that deletion process.
Make sure you're signed in.
Click the relevant post in the sidebar (eg in my case "Dads").
Click 'post a comment'.
Under each comment (inc yr own) you should see a little rubbish bin (or trash can as some people call them).
Click the bin and a page comes up offering you a choice to delete completely,or just the comment itself.
if you just delete the comment, it says something like "Anonymous said... This comment has been removed by the blog administrator."
If you "delete forever", there's no trace.

Second, of course that's fine to leave a message for Paul, and anyone else who wishes to do so is welcome.
It's more than sad that he's stopped writing the blog, I think I understand some of the reasons why, but I look forward to reading the memoirs one day, full disclosure, names named, the whole shebang. And no stupid comments.